Sunday, October 12, 2008

Celebz

What is this infatuation with celebrities? You see better looking people on the street every day. You see more INTERESTING people on the street every day. Yet, you seem to be somehow drawn to those who others are drawn to. It's something like a trickle-down formula. One really popular guy sees someone in a movie.
'Wow! They're cool!'
The second guy wants to fit in. He decides to agree with the first dude, so he takes some pictures. Some newspapers see these popular guys are interested in other, more popular guys. They decide to go with it, too. Before you know it, people are getting payed for taking interest in the ultra populars. These ultra-populars become so ultra popular that their appearance and being is simply celebrated everywhere they go. They become celebrities. But here is the true question: that first popular guy. The very first that decides who is popular and who isn't. That guy; who decides that HE is popular? And who decides that this mystery man is popular? And who decides that THAT guy is popular? It goes on and on forever. The only logical answer is that popularity, or 'cool' is decided by those who were previously cool, and who previously were cool were decided by who were cool before them. The true origin of cool, if you want to be absolutely literal, is that first guy who clumped some dirt in a ball and started rolling it around. Who was then discovered by another guy that made a wheel from his idea, and that next guy that thought it was cool and put two of them together and rolled on them. Those are the true origins of cool. Mystery solved.

You're in for some controversy.

Jesus. What a guy. It wasn't enough that he was the son of god, he was also a really nice dude. He hated rich people, gave to the poor, and cured blindness and diseases. Amazing, no? Well, this may be offensive, but I am here to tell you there was a Jesus. Yes, I will repeat that. There WAS a Jesus. He, however, was not the Messiah.
Take into consideration the possibility that Jesus was a miracle worker. Take into consideration that he was a conman. Compare those two. Which one was more likely? Imagine. You live in a time of doubt and uncertainty. The entire world is strange and foreign. There are no proper records of ancient history, nor are there theories of what the far future will be.
Then some dude comes along. He tells you that there's this entity, this being that is everything and everywhere, and he or she or it is controlling every aspect of your life. Is controlling what happens now and next. Has controlled everything that has ever happened EVER.
Now the dude tells you he is this being's son. At first you're skeptical.
'Oh, yeah? Prove it.'
'Okay. I will.'
Takes you to his mom's place. Says his mom was a virgin when she birthed him. You go see her, and apparently, it's true. Never had sex. Was engaged to be married when she became pregnant. Now she CAN'T be lying. She's his mom. You're excited, but still skeptical.
'Show me more proof.'
'Uh...I can perform a miracle.'
'Show me.'
The dude does a little trick.
'Whoa, man! You're the real deal!'
'Told you.'
You're really amazed.
'I gotta go tell some friends about you! Hey, what's your name?'
'Me? I'm Jesus.'
'Jesus what?'
'Jesus Christ.'
Bam! You've got a religion.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Movie

I thought of an amazing idea for a movie.
Well, rather I dreamed it.
I'll jump right in.
So, the world is a dark place, and a second great depression is nothing less than imminent. The middle class American is exceedingly worried about his or her money, so they withdraw their funds from the banks of the world and begin storing them in safes and houses of their own. They penny-pinch. This leads to nobody buying anything costing more than one hundred dollars, which causes the price of virtually all items to go down drastically. Over these long, hard years, one aristocrat sheds his life of excess and luxury to live a simple, modest one. He is building his personal fortune. In some ten years, the government collapses upon it self once the dollar's value drops below the yen. America is getting by, but is very very poor. The government is in drastic need of funding. Enter the aristocrat. Now the richest man in the world, this aristocrat strikes a deal with the government; complete and total funding for whatever the government needs, in exchange for being the most powerful man in the United States. The government realise, they must either create a dictator, or watch America slowly die. They choose the former.
Now, a rebel group named Vengeance is finding their cause. Will they live under the totalitarian rule of the aristocrat's iron fist? Or will they choose to abandon their comfortable lives and reclaim freedom? Obviously, they choose the latter.
And there you have it. A blockbuster Political Thriller/Action Film.
I need to write this idea down... Oh, wait-