Thursday, November 6, 2008

Everyone Hates A Literalist.

I never understood how Superman really got by without his secret identity being exposed. For one, he never had a mask, not even sunglasses! Not even one of those things that Robin and The Lone Ranger have! All he does is remove his glasses. I imagine this is how a conversation goes down.
"Hey, Tom. You ever notice how Superman looks a lot like Clark?"
"No, no. Clark has GLASSES."
"Wait, but just envision him without glasses. Just see what he looks like."
"Huh. I guess you're--Oh, wait."
"What?"
"Clark doesn't wear spandex."
"What?"
"Clark doesn't wear spandex but Superman does."
"Huh. I never noticed that. Never mind, then."
"Okay. By the way, how's Judy doing?"
"Dude, she left me."
"Oh. Sorry..."
Another thing. How does he turn back time when running around the world? I know it's comic physics, but if he can do something like that, would it be possible for him to fast-forward time by running the OPPOSITE way? Suppose Bizzaro Superman attacks the Earth, can't he just fast forward until the end of the ordeal, or even Bizzaro's natural death? And what happens if he runs into someone while running around the world? How is it he takes such an isolated path that he collides with no humans whatsoever? And there is, of course, the issue of Kryptonite. Couldn't anyone kill Superman by just hurling a chunk of rock at him?
"Hey, man. There's that Superman."
"Aww, man. I hate that guy. He thinks he's better than us just because he has powers?"
"Yeah. Someone ought to put him in his place."
"You know, I think I'm gonna do something bold."
"What are you saying? What, are you throwing a rock at him? Don't do that! Aww."
"Haha."
"What did you do that for?"
"I hate that dude."
"Hmm. He's not getting up. Where'd you get that rock?"
"Oh, just over by that barrel filled with radiating waste."
"Dude. You just killed Superman."
"Oh."
"Not cool. Not cool, man."
Yeah. Plot holes a'plenty in Superman. I hope I ruined the experience for you.

2 comments:

Banno said...

No, you didn't ruin the plot. Just made it funnier.

Anonymous said...

hi Sahir loved your blogs ..funtabulas writing keep it up ..good luck