Ownership of Dogs should be illegal. Dogs are enormous creatures that track fur everywhere and suck up all your spare time with their unappealing neediness. Dogs look and feel ugly. Dogs are like those actors that you see sometimes. Those actors who look gross, act gross and no doubt smell gross, but to some people have a strange appeal. Dogs are like Vince Vaughn. Whereas Cats, cats require almost no work, act nobly and never give you tapeworms. What happens when you take a dog outside? They run and scamper and stick their noses in strange places. Whenever you see a dog outside of a house, there's a one in three chance that is eating some plastic. Dogs have no dignity, no sense of proper behaviour. Have you ever seen a cat eat something it's not supposed to? Dogs eat nothing but trash and low-grade meat. Think of Kibble and think of Fancy Feast. They're essentially the same idea, but one of them has a touch of class. The other sounds like something you find in your gutter after a rainy day.
See how this sounds.
'How's it going cleaning the gutter, honey?'
'Eugh. I think I found some Kibble.'
Now imagine this.
'How's it going cleaning the gutter, honey?'
'I think I found some Fancy Feast!'
'Yum! Bring it downstairs, let's eat some lunch.'
As you can see from these comparative sentences, anything even related to cats sounds delicious.